What are some features you can get on AOL?  Well, it all depends on what kind of person you are.  If you go for the following things, you should consider yourself the typical AOL member, and sign on right away.  Here are the features:      1) Crappy email service.  Software that lags behind "harder" internet programs.  2) SPAM.  Never get tired of junk mail?  Do you feel that the more mail you get, whether porn ads or "$158 9600 baud modem" ads mean you're a popular person?  AOL is for you, then.  3) Chat Room Stupidity.  You can choose between any of up to 300 idiots in a chat room, who most likely can't hold a conversation in real life, and have to spend their time in a chat room.  Also, you can look forward to being TOSsed or punted for saying something wrong.  4) IMs.  Yes, if you like having people be able to message you whenever they want asking you to homosexual cybersex, AOL is for you.  5) More SPAM.  Do you like the idea of having an advertisement shoved in your face as soon as you sign on?   Do you like having to constantly wait to see "new art" download (which is usually more ads)? Do you like having to click through various commercials for things you never wanted?  AOL is for you, then.  6) Stalking.  Do you have a sick fetish for raping little children?  Do you find it too hard to hang out in front of schools waiting to lure kids to you so you can molest them?  Why bother with that?!  With AOL's chat rooms, you can pretend to be a 8 year old looking for a friend, even if you're really 43 years old.  You can get those kids to tell you anything, even when their parents aren't home. And guess what?  You won't have to worry about being caught because AOL's TOS guides don't monitor kids rooms very well, if at all.  And if they do catch you, simply change your screen name and try again. Isn't that easy?  7) Control.  Don't want to be online very long?  Not to worry. AOL will automatically kick you off after 46 minutes of inactivity, or from whenever they start counting.  This is usually an annoyance to many people, but after awhile, you'll accept it dumbly, and it won't bother you anymore. This list is just a beginning, but if all of these traits appeal to you, you are an AOLer.  Enjoy!  After all, 12 million idiots already use it.