2) AOL would only have one kind of hamburger,
but they would claim it is the best.

3) Fries would come in 3 different sizes:
 a) $3.95 a fry
 b) $21.95 for unlimited fries (that visit only)
 c) $9.95 for unlimited fries (that visit only and you have to
bring your own container)

4) After you order, the man taking your order would give you your
total but when you pulled up to the window he'd tell you a different
total.

5) If AOL gets your order incorrect and you are in the drive through,
the man at the window would say "Drive through and place your order
again", "We're working on it", or "You must have placed your order
wrong".

6) There are 256 different speakers to place your order at.

7) If your order is incorrect and you are inside AOL, the man at the
counter would act like he doesn't hear you.

8) Half the time you go through the drive-through, the man at the
window would hand you an empty bag.  Refer to number 5 on how to fix
this problem.

9) All employees at AOL are ignorant as dog shit and know absolutely
nothing about the food they serve you.

10) The AOLKKK (America Online Kool Kids Klub) playground would only
have one slide.  If your child goes down it the wrong way you are
banned from AOL for six months.

11) AOL only accepts credit cards or checks.

12) You get billed every month for eating at AOL whether you ate there
or not.

13) The restrooms are sorted as followed: Men-Striaght, Men-Gay,
Men-Teens, Men-Black, Men-Other, Women-Striaght, Women-Gay,
Women-Teens, Women-Black, and Women-Other.  There would also be a room
with the sign "WaReZ" on the door but AOL would always tell you it
doesn't exist.

14) Every 45 minutes a man would walk up to your table and ask you if
you would like to continue eating at AOL.  If you did not respond to
him with-in 15 minutes he would kick you out.

15) Every time you left the table for more than a few seconds you'd
come back to find a letter on your table from a porn company or
somebody selling something you don't need.

16) Every once and a while Bombz, NightHeart, Error404, vbrat,
BMFK101, and XxBiosxX would drive by and throw eggs at the AOL
building but since there are no windows, no one notices till they
leave.

17) When you try to leave AOL the door only opens a crack and then a
man walks up and hands you a bunch of food and says "You will need
this for further visits to AOL!".  Oh, you're not charged for the food
either.

18) AOL claims its parking lot holds 12 million cars but it only has
24 spaces.

19) If you bring a friend into AOL, you get a free hamburger.

20) AOL claims to be open 24 hours a day but there is usually no one
working at 11:00pm even though the store is still open.

21) In the late hours of the night Wurk, McDougle, and
aol.is@sucks.com (employees of AOL) get together to jack off and make
the "Special AOL Customer Sauce".

Addition from "Freedom"

During lunch hours, AOL can't guarantee you'll get any food if too
many other people want food also.

AOL is so small and has so many patrons, you must try hundreds of
times to get through the door only to be kicked out in a few minutes.

Once you pay for your food, it's your responsibility. If someone
steals it, AOL won't give you any more.
 

They would have special volunteer employees checking to make sure you
are eating according to their terms, and if not, you have to walk out.

There would be piles of trash, foul-smelling stains, and all sorts of
deviants hanging around in the back, but the workers will ignore them,
pretending they aren't really there.

You would get to act like a complete ass without anyone thinking there
was something wrong with you.