· Flights cost $19.95 but the flights are always overbooked by a ratio of 35,000 people to each plane, so you rarely get on. People will still pay for this though, because AOL Air is the airplane, and more!
· You have to pay 10 bucks extra for each use of AOL Air premium services like in-flight food, bathrooms, and a blanket.
· You have to abide by the Terms of Flight "TOF" or the pilot will get out of his seat and bitch-slap you.
· You have to sit by a 500 pound unwashed hairy male that insists that he is a "18/F".
· Engines are fueled by melted AOL bisks.
· You find that AOL Air has canceled many things to save money, although the customers love them. Things like In-flight movies, food, seats, and panes of glass in the windows.
· The autopilot would constantly disengage and state "The host has failed to respond" and then GPF, making the pilot re-boot.
· If you tried to go to the bathroom Steve Case would pop up and draw you into a 5 minute discussion about the AOL Visa. He would then ask you all over again when you exit the bathroom and again if you get up to go again.
· 8 year old children constantly typing over the flight plans in the planes computer with a commodore 64.
· Planes constantly Crash, explode, catch fire, and fall apart in mid-air yes millions of people still flock to the airline.
· A.A-S 's favorite trolls get to be your flight attendants! Image people like wurk… "and AOL air is very good. AOL air, where people fly in planes".
· In-flight movies include "Daddyz Boyz: the Spanking Years" "Debbie Does Des Moines" and "Backdoor Bonanza part 3".
· Instead of honey roasted peanuts you get Vaseline and a 8 inch plastic tube.
· AOL Air would block passengers from harmless countries like Canada, Norway, and New Zealand, yet let on terrorists from the Middle East as part of their "preferred flight" program.
